Sunday, 20 August 2017

It Begins! Uni Summer Project

Hello There,

So - I've had my welcome email from the uni and it contained the Summer Project which is to be completed before we even enrol! Um... yikes!

We have to complete eight pieces to be ready for a pop up exhibition by September 13th. If I wasn't bricking it before - I am now. There's been no mention that a sketchbook is required but I was having real trouble tying down an idea so decided to just grab one and scribble down some thoughts. I always find these spider charts help organise my mind - lets face it - it's a shambles in there. (The pictures are clickable to enlarge.)
Whoopidoo - UCA Canterbury Summer Project 2017 prep and freak out

Silver Crow

As you can see I've settled on Silver Crow as my subject. If you are new to me or my blog (Hello *waves*) Silver Crow is actually a jackdaw that flies around my local area. I've been watching her since she was a baby and am kind of obsessed with her. I've seen her a lot this year, more so than last year when I was getting a bit worried that something had happened to her. So I think she's the perfect subject to base my project on.
Whoopidoo - UCA Canterbury Summer Project 2017 prep and freak out
Please excuse the manic scrawl
Not going to lie - time is getting short now and I have my panic hat on. I've almost finished one piece and have an idea for the next two or three. It's the time aspect that's doing me in. Being a mature (ha!) student with young children is throwing me at the moment. I'm hoping that when they are back at school I am going to find organisation easier because at the moment - mainly with the youngest little Bear, I am struggling.

I have had so many "what am I doing?" moments over the last couple of weeks. As well as starting uni., I am re-entering the work place on a formal footing around the same time as well. I am attending self-employment courses and aim to be fully self-employed by October.

I Am Freaking Out.

Big time.

It's a weird sensation. This has been my dream since I was about 10. I always wanted to go to art college but ended up leaving school at 15 and joining what was then the YTS scheme. (Why? The bullies won and I bitterly regret letting them.) So - although I am following my dreams now and it's all happening... there is the fear that I've left it to late - I am now 40 - I'm not up to this, I can't manage the time aspect, I will crash and burn and let everyone down.

But there is excitement too. Huge excitement. And determination to succeed. And show my children that you never stop learning, you never stop trying. How do I tell them to reach for their goals and dreams if I don't do it myself? Lead by example... with a few freak outs along the way.

Through this process which properly started about two and a half years ago when I took that first Maths GCSE (Ugh!) I have met many amazing people. Some I am lucky enough to now call friends. This process has also opened my eyes to the people already around me. Somehow I have gathered an amazing bunch of people, someone called them my tribe... which feels good to think in that way. They may be scattered all over this globe, most of us may never ever meet in person but they are my friends and have proven that so many times over the past couple of years. I know who you are now.  I am so grateful.

*Ahem*

Well, this quick update soon turned into a ramble didn't it? Shocker!

But seriously - This is where I'm at. This is the start of the next three years. I'm panicking but am going to do my damn best. And I know you've got my back.

Thanks for stopping by today. 

1 comment:

  1. You CAN do it and you WILL do it....the Silver Crow piece is perfect, I think for your first project. Good Luck!!

    ReplyDelete

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